Tropical World

Attenborough. Single handedly resolved the major cock block of the 45 min limbo where you’re perusing Netflix for a film to get fingered to. Planet Earth, COME THROUGH. It is always about animals shagging anyway so this is 100% DEFO what our Dave had in mind when he signed up for the gig.

Anyway, I digress. Fingering is not actually the subject of this post and Tropical World  isn’t a weird nickname for genitalia. Attenborough is relevant because, aside from the aforementioned wingman services he provides, he is single handedly responsible for making wildlife cool. It will never be known if if people tweet about Attenborough because they genuinely get dilated pupils and a childlike sense of wonder when they see a Thompsons Gazelle leaping across their telly, or cos they think it makes them look like 1x nice and current and cool person susceptible to being fancied.

I do actually fucking buzz off animals though. Mainly fish and stuff in the sea but I’ll watch a documentary on fucking anything. Did you know some types of frog can give birth out their BACK. Or mouth. Fucking heavy that. Imagine how excited I was when a quick google search of “stuff to do in Leeds on my day off” provided me with…

T R O P I C A L W O R L D.

Will finish this one off later haven’t thought of anything else. Brb Sof xx

OK I’m back.

Humidity in this gaff is silly but with a name like Tropical World what do you expect really. Once you accept your fate as a sweaty and frizzy mong you can get to grips with all the exciting shit in there though. Loads of fish and stuff. The reptile rooms were shut for refurbishment during our trip which was a bit of a cock block but it just means we’ll have to visit again. There is a massive room dedicated to meerkats but I reckon this is outdated because the meerkat hype defo died down years ago. Was there ever a meerkat hype actually. They’re not that interesting in my opinion. It’s like somebody fucked up when they were ordering all the animals in and they’re trying to make the best out of an extra 0 on the order form. I appreciate they are dead sociable bastards and probs need to be in clans of 10 or more but I find them a dead boring mammal. When I think of tropical shit I think of bright colours and not something from the mongoose family. Anyway.

The shit you really want to be looking at when you go here is the tank of massive fish in the aquarium. There’s a stingray bopping about in there who is the cutest little fella even though evolution has literally stomped down on him and made him fucking flat. Look at him haha he makes me well happy.

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Hahahaha state of it.

My mental acuity has gone now I’m distracted by that little stingray so I’m gonna bail on this Tropical World post in a sec.

I will square things off by mentioning the 3 bottles of pinot we twatted after Tropical World. And 853248236.4 gin and tonics in Fibre once we realised it was 241 drinks. On this occasion, our attempt at the zen and educational life failed. But we did manage half a day. POINTS FOR TRYING.

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