Tinder Escapades.2

I’m a bad fake tan gremlin. Always saturated in the stuff. Anyway I can’t remember why but there was an instance once when I was trying to send a Snapchat video of me washing off my tan to my main graft at the time. Wasn’t meant to be a big deal. Quick 7 second video. No hassle. Lol next joke.

Literally as I pressed fucking send I noticed my entire naked reflection in the chrome shower head. Now everyone knows I’m not assed about being naked and my tits are probably littered throughout loooaaaaaaads of peoples camera rolls. BUT this was NOT a nude fit for public viewing. I do this dead lazy thing sometimes where I only tan the parts of my body on show. So imagine orange limbs and a pale as fuck torso. And then imagine that distorted in the convex shower head hahahaha. Fucking hell it was UG. So so so so UG. In a moment of panic I quickly blocked the lad on Snapchat in a desp bid to halt the sending and threw my phone as far away from me as I could. Booked a flight to outer Mongolia and started planning the new life I was gonna have to lead after this fucking debacle. And muted his Whatsapps just in case it did send and he saw it and felt like corkscrewing his eyeballs out at the sight of my fucking poorly groomed chassis.

THANKFULLY it actually didn’t send but now I had to explain why I had mysteriously disappeared off his Snapchat. THE PLOT THICKENS. So I had to make up some bullshit excuse and then created a new Snapchat account which only had this one boy on it. Imagine the fucking hassle of logging into a separate Snapchat just to Snap one person hahahaha. Fucking hell I like making life difficult don’t I. The stress of living a double Snapchat life was far too much for me. It couldn’t go on for much longer I’m not cut out for such deceit. H to the fucking assle.

After a quick experiment with Beth where I blocked her mid vid send then re-added her to see if it would come through later, I established that the coast was probably clear and I could come clean to the boy and add him back on the main account. The offending article was defo lost in cyber space and I had managed to evade what would have been one of the most embarrassing Snapchat mishaps ever.

First. World. Problems.




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